Today marks 3 years of marriage for my husband and I! Though our wedding seems like it was just yesterday, it feels like we've been married longer than we have. This last year kind of felt like an eternity and it really grew us individually and collectively in which I'm very grateful for the growth.
Since it's my wedding anniversary, I wanted to bring my husband into the Joy In My Soles Sistahood to talk about this past year of marriage for us and to drop some gems about marriage in general. He was kind enough to let me interview him for today's post (thanks boo!). He definitely had some great things to share about marriage, so be sure to continue reading.
Hope you enjoy!
Also, if you want to relive year 2 with us as we shared 20 lessons we learned, check that out here!
Love, peace and sole!
How would you describe year 3 of marriage in one word?
What was your favorite memory we made together over the last year of marriage?
Traveling with my wife is always a blessing. This typically means amazing conversation, a ton of laughter, and several reminders that she is exactly the one that God created me to spend my life with. In light of that reality, I would have to say my favorite memory of year 3 of marriage was road tripping with Destiney across the entire state of Illinois to her parents’ hometown, Burlington, Iowa. It was an opportunity for me to see my wife’s roots as we spent time with family.
The highlight of this trip was the time we spent at the PZAZZ amusement resort. We had a blast bowling, mini-golfing, and racing each other in bumper cars. This was a great low-key road trip filled with tons of excitement. The best thing about this trip was that it was spontaneous and there was no itinerary.
What advice would you give to single men and women desiring to be married?
Fall in love with Jesus
Be intentional about developing your character
Invest in yourself
Pray for your future spouse
Do not settle because you think time is running out
You marry people as is…. Not based on potential
What are you looking forward to in year 4?
I am looking forward to new experiences together as we seek to accomplish the goals that we have set.
Complete this sentence. The thing you’ve learned about me since we’ve been married that surprised you the most is…
You are a walking gospel music jukebox. Clearly, my wife and I have had two different upbringings…. I grew up on Tupac and she grew up on The Winans LOL! But seriously, her knowledge of older Gospel music is astounding. She often provides me with the lyrics of the songs of Zion… My baby is a true church kid!
What’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself since getting married?
One thing I’ve learned about myself since being married is that I actually like HGTV…. LOL!
Don’t get me wrong, I am an ESPN guy, but my wife has successfully broadened my horizon. Over the last 3 years, I have gained an appreciation for shows like “House Hunter”, “Fixer Upper”, and “Love it or List it”…. In seeking to spend quality time with my wife, I’ve grown to enjoy some of her preferred TV shows, but don’t get it twisted, this isn’t a one-sided relationship...Destiney now has the ability to identify offensive formations while we are watching football together, and I think she enjoys it.
**Tap Tap...this is Destiney speaking...I would say, I more so endure it than enjoy it haha
In a day and age where many feel like marriage is unnecessary, why do you feel marriage is relevant?
Marriage will always be relevant because it was instituted by a timeless and eternal God. It is God’s first sacred institution. I believe that this covenant commitment should be between one man and one woman for one lifetime. No other type of relationship requires the same level of vulnerability or supplies a comparable amount of accountability to another human being and to God. In short, marriage will grow you up, because that’s what it was designed to do. Marriage is one of the many ways God sanctifies His children. When approached biblically, it is the tangible image of Christ loving the church.
Name one misconception you feel single people have about marriage.
Marriage is not the goal… heaven is. Sometimes single people can be so concerned with seeking a Godly relationship that they fail to seek God. The reality is singleness is not a sickness that you need to be cured of, it is a season that God has you in. And marriage is not just a solution to singleness but rather it should be entered into by two people who are fully committed to pointing each other toward Christ.
Now that you’ve experienced marriage, if you could go back to April 24, 2015, the day before our wedding, what advice would you give yourself?
If I could go back to April 24, 2015, I would sit myself down and advise myself to be a student of my wife. The reality is you do not know what you do not know. You have never been a husband and you will never know how to love your wife unless you commit yourself to learning. Everyday study what makes her smile, memorize what motivates her, and keep account of the experiences she enjoys. Take note of her shortcoming, be aware of what makes her cry, and be mindful of her fears. Once you have done this, apply what you know daily. Marriage is not 50/50 it is 100. Seek to give 100% every day. Pray for your wife and with your wife. Make Destiney your primary ministry and the Lord will bless you….. I’d probably say something like that LOL!
Thanks for reading!