*If you do not know who Boaz is, I encourage you to read the book of Ruth.
I often hear and maybe have even said myself once upon a time, "I'm waiting on my Boaz". I'm sure many of you can relate and if you are one of those people "waiting for your Boaz", I want to encourage you to reflect on this question and ask yourself, Am I prepared for Boaz?
As a single woman, I would often ponder what I wanted my future mate to possess. He needed to have a job, ambition, manners, a relationship with God, great character and the list goes on. Yet, I had to stop and check myself and ask, do I possess these same characteristics I desired in my future mate?
All of our lives we prepare for different events and situations in life. We prepare for tests, for college, for the real world, for interviews, etc. but seldom do we consider preparing for "Boaz". During my singleness, I came to realize there are several areas of our lives that we should work on to prepare for the "Boaz" we desire and now that I'm married I see even more the importance of working on these areas.
1.) Your Finances
One of the BEST things you can do for your future mate is to have your finances in order! Money is one of the leading causes of divorce. So, don't set yourself up to fail with your future mate by not having good, sound money habits. If you want Mr. Boaz to be a baller baller shot caller (as my Dad would say), make sure you have your ducks in a row as well. That doesn't mean that you need to make X amount of dollars. It just means, be wise in how you handle those X amount of dollars. Shirleen told me to tell you, don't walk around here with a credit score of 200 HA! As a married woman, I can't tell you how much of a blessing it is to be on one accord with your spouse in your finances and how much of a burden it is when you're not. Do your best to pay off as much debt as possible while in your time of singleness. When Boaz comes along, you want to be able to build with him and having loads of debt will only hold you back.
2.) Your Character
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. -Galatians 5:22-23
You may have heard or read the quote by Maya Angelou, "When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time." Most times we take an objective approach to that quote and think about who others are showing themselves to be to us. But, who are you showing yourself to be to others? What kind of character do you possess? Take time to reflect on what those that are close to you say about you. When Boaz comes along, if he is truly worth your time, he won't leave you because you possess too much love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. Those are characteristics that he will value the most in you and that will help to sustain your relationship. Those characteristics are also what you will value the most in him.
During this time of preparation, it's also important to reflect on previous relationships. I know I know, you would rather forget you were even in some of those relationships, but just for a short time, reflect on those relationships. Think about what role you played in the failure of those relationships and what you can work on before entering the next relationship. It's important that you take ownership and hold yourself accountable for the role you played in the failures as well as the successes in your relationships. Dig deeper into why you continue to find yourself in unsuccessful relationships and what makes you choose some of the men you have chosen. I can't stress enough how important it is to learn from some of the choices you've made when it comes to love and to heal from the hurt of those failed relationships. You deserve to move into your next relationship with as little baggage as possible so that you can fully appreciate the love that Boaz will give you and not hold him responsible for what some previous knuckle head has done to you.
3.) Your Home
In the words of my friend and brother, Pastor Terry Brown, "Some sisters are looking to be swept off their feet but they can't sweep." This is hilariously funny to me but SO true! Please Sole Sistas, learn how to sweep and not just sweep, but mop, vacuum, wash, and cook lol. You may not be the best at cooking and cleaning but during this time of preparation, it's definitely worth the effort to try and to work at getting better. You never know, Mr. Boaz may be an awesome cook or even a neat freak but just in case he's not, I would suggest that you be able to at least clean. No one wants a trifling woman.
Some sisters are looking to be swept off their feet but they can't sweep.
-Pastor Terry Brown
4.) Your Relationship With God
Develop a relationship with God. It doesn't matter how great Boaz will be, you will still need the Lord in your relationship. Until you develop your relationship with God, you will never feel whole. Boaz will never be able to fill that void. He will need a woman like you that is constantly praying for him and able to encourage him when times get tough because if he's truly a Boaz, he'll be doing the same for you.
None of us want a guy who looks unkempt. We want our man to be well dressed, hair cut, clean shoes, in shape, etc. Soooo, it's imperative that you do the same. You don't need to slay all day rocking heels and makeup but at least comb your hair. Carry yourself in a way that says you care even when you are having one of those "I don't feel like all the extra" kind of days. Use this preparation time to get in the gym and accomplish the fitness goals you have set for yourself. Make it a point to get healthy. When you look good you feel good.
This is just 5 ways you can prepare for your Boaz, however there are so many more. Don't feel like you have to have it all together before he comes, but work on what you can and always strive to be a better you whether you are preparing for a Boaz or not. Love yourself enough to want the best and to be the best.
Love, peace, and sole!
Here are some resources that I highly recommend you read while you prepare: